The Fourth Trimester

Healing, transitioning, adapting & surviving

Our little Theo arrived on February 23rd, 2020. Our hearts have been so full ever since. Bringing him home as new parents, our first thoughts were— how the hell do we do this parenting thing? How will we remember and apply everything we learned and prepared for? In time, with lots of trial and error, sleepless nights, crying (both baby and mama,) laughing, and copious amounts of COFFEE… We quickly learned how to ‘survive’ the first few months of the fourth trimester. *barely

Here are tips and some insight to help you hopefully do the same. These are the many things I wish I understood before having a baby!

1. SLEEP.

   Or lack there of shall I say? I know when you’re pregnant everyone tells you to sleep when you can, take naps, etc. Most of the time I would just laugh and agree, maybe take a nap on rare occasions, but damn now I know I should have more! From the moment you bring that baby home your uninterrupted sleep will be very much missed. So if you’re still pregnant, seriously go take a nap right now. If you are in the stage of surviving with a newborn, nap when you can and good luck with your nights sleep. Sending all the good quality sleep vibes your way. Some of the tips below may help your little babe sleep a little better too! But you will be surprised how well you can function without much sleep. I am still slowly trying to become more of an early morning person. Lastly, get yourself some easy zip up or Velcro swaddles you help babe sleep. Or rent or buy the Snoo bassinet like we used for Theo. Whatever you choose, you are a mama warrior !!!

2. Breastfeeding is some hard shit.

   Especially at first and is very time consuming. But once you get a handle on it, it’s oh so worth it and is so powerful and comforting. The first few weeks of breastfeeding were very tough for me and is for most other woman too— it does not come as natural as you’d think it does. It starts out painful as hell as you and your baby are learning to nurse. Having baby latch correctly can be tough- especially when it’s your first time! Cracked, cut and sore nipples are not fun.

   Some tips? Ask for help!!! A lactation consultant saved me, we learned so much from her and she helped fix our latch so much where it was finally becoming easy to breastfeed without any pain. There are usually free lactation consultants at the hospital so use them while you’re there, there are free weigh in feed/breastfeeding support groups at every hospital usually weekly, mom support groups, etc. You can also pay to find a lactation consultant who will come to your house through La Leche League, Milk & Honey (Tucson), and Mamas Latte (Tucson). Some insurances even cover these! Join a breastfeeding group on Facebook if you have questions or need more support. Find and use these resources. (!!!) Get some nipple cream, ice packs, and warming packs for helping with nursing as well. Make sure to have a big ass water bottle for yourself, comfy pillows and a breast friend pillow (or Boppy) to help support baby during nursing because baby will be eating constantly or so it will feel like, about every hour or two at the beginning. Lastly, try not to worry too much about your milk supply. As long as you are drinking enough water, eating healthy and nursing on demand you will be just fine. One last piece of advice, don’t compare yourself to other mamas. Every woman’s body and baby is unique and different. Don’t give up! You got this mama.
   

3. Takingcarababies.
   Take the newborn class from Takingcarababies!!! This class will save you and it’s definitely worth the money. There are so many helpful resources for getting the best sleep that you can during the first few months of baby’s life. I recommend all of her classes she offers actually, but especially the newborn! There are even gift cards available so you can put the class on your baby shower registry and hopefully have someone gift it to you!
   

4. Cosleeping.

   In the very first week of Theo’s life, every time we would put him down in his bassinet he would just scream. Yikes! He wanted nothing to do with that thing! After a couple nights of hell, I vented to our doula about it and she recommended trying to cosleep with him for a little. Laying with him in our own bed, sleeping *lightly while breastfeeding as needed throughout the entire night made life so much easier. Although I still did not get much sleep…he was calm, I was more calm and I was at least able to rest laying down when nursing, instead of getting up out of bed multiple times to tend to him. He was right there with me, snuggled up and safe. We did this for about two weeks then tried the bassinet again, and he finally took to it! Although cosleeping worked for us for a short time being, I liked and appreciated having my own bed back once he was sleeping in his own bassinet in our room! But cosleeping is something I know many mamas do throughout the first year. You can even try a “cosleeping bassinet” that is right by your bedside. Try one of these methods if night feedings and putting baby back to sleep after feeding is a struggle.

5. Visitors + Meals.

   We loved having our family over to visit throughout the first couple weeks of Theo’s life! What else did we also love other than seeing our loved ones beautiful faces? The food they brought with them!!! Every time a family member or friend offered to bring us food we said YES PLEASE. This helped us greatly, it kept us happy and full. If you have family or friends visiting you once you’re home, ask them to bring you a meal, or a home cooked meal for later! It’s the least they can do if they’re getting some newborn snuggles 😚 Also, it’s totally okay to turn down any visitors if you aren’t feeling it that day. Don’t be afraid to use your voice and speak up.

6. The Fourth Trimester- A Postpartum Guide.

   This book is written by Kimberly Ann Johnson. This was one of the most helpful reads in my last trimester of pregnancy. It helped me to prepare for what was to come with me emotionally and physically in the forth trimester. It also helped communication with Zach and I’s relationship once Theo was here. Because it’s inevitable, your relationship WILL change (hopefully in a good way!) It can get hard at times. Plus hormones are cray, and make you feel not like yourself. So it’s best to prepare for that, and to make sure you have a plan to check in with one another, make time for each other, and not to forget to ‘fill’ each other's love languages. I definitely recommend reading this book during the end of your pregnancy or even as a new mama if you haven’t already. Find the book here!

7. Have a damn glass of wine or beer!
   This was something I contemplated in the first few weeks feeling guilty about drinking and then finally said F it. Now I know, you CAN have a glass of wine at the end of your day without guilt— you deserve it! I was very hesitant with my milk supply and general breastfeeding worries. So I educated myself. I learned you don’t need to pump and dump (unless you become super engorged!) I found that I could have a glass of wine in the evening and wait a good 2-3 hours to nurse again. Perfectly safe! I usually pump beforehand to store a bottle for him in case needed. I learned a little more about drinking and breastfeeding from helpful videos by Dr. Sterling OBGYN. Here is her Instagram with the video and blog with tons of other useful information for pregnancy, postpartum, etc. I hope you learn something too! Enjoy that glass of vino, you’ve worked hard for it— and only have waited 9 months for it 😂

8. Grocery delivery.

   This will save your god damn life. Instacart has been my best friend since Theo was born and especially with all of the Covid craziness happening. Save yourself a trip to the store and get your groceries delivered! Use my code to try it out: instacart.

9. Get Outside!
   Get outside when you can, at least once a day. You will be happier, baby will be happier and it’s been proven to help babe sleep longer too! I will just say the days I stayed inside the house, I definitely felt the difference. Go for a walk, stretch outside, maybe even a light jog. Go get that vitamin D!

10. Take pictures and start a baby book!
    If you have the extra time (LOL what’s that??) I recommend you start a baby book. With the billion photos you’ve probably taken, choose some favorites and start a memory book. Here is the one I bought that I highly recommend and love from Etsy!! Etsy Babybook. Then I bought this self adhesive photo book for all the extra photos I couldn’t fit in the other book.

11. Download the Glow Baby app!!
    As a new mama and a parent without much sleep, juggling a million things and thoughts all at once makes you not be able to remember a lot of things. Things like which boob you last nursed with, what time the last feeding was, if that last diaper was a poop or pee, or if you’ve even eaten today 😂 This app helps you remember and organize all of that information and gives you awesome data, insight and tips throughout your days! It’s FREE and a great resource we used the first couple months of his life. Once Theo’s weight was back up, and feeds became much easier and routine we stopped using the app. But this thing was a life saver and I recommend you downloading it. In my opinion, the “premium” version that you have to pay monthly for is not necessary unless you want to track play time and eating solids once he/she is older.
    

12. Babywearing FTW!
    How do you get shit done around the house with a newborn? Babywear as much as you can! Wraps, slings, etc. It’s the perfect napping area, being on mama—- baby is comfy and happy. It creates a nurturing atmosphere and calmness. Babies carried in slings are calmer and cry less. You can do some dishes, laundry, water plants, whatever you need to do. You can even breastfeed when wearing a wrap once you get good at it! I definitely recommend having a couple different wraps. I love my Moby Wrap, Moby Sling, and our Ergobaby Omni 360. This will be a life saver!

13. Postpartum Favorites That I Actually Used!
    Awhile back I posted my blog on the postpartum kits I created and my hospital bag list I brought before babe came home. Now I will share a list my absolute favorites and necessities after going through my recovery and postpartum journey. My must haves were: disposable underwear (take as many as you can from the hospital, you’re paying for it!) if not here are some you can buy on Amazon, MomFrida witch hazel cooling pads, MomFrida disposable ICE PACKS, a lavender warming rice bag that my midwife created for me (you can find how to make your own below!) and Sitz bath soak. I would use the lavender warming bag for tons of things including warming up breasts before nursing/pumping, a warmer to put on neck and relax, perineum warming, soothing Theo by putting it on his belly or body. Here is how to make a lavender rice bag.
    

    Overall, I used these items SO MUCH throughout my postpartum journey. They all helped me feel so much more comfortable while healing throughout postpartum. Leave a comment with some of your favorite postpartum items you use or plan to use!
    

Getting help from our lactation consultant in the hospital.

Although some days (and most nights) May seem rough and never ending. Just know it DOES get better, this to WILL pass. Keep working hard, you’re doing just great and bring the best mama you can be!

“Motherhood is messy. And challenging. And crazy. And sleepless. And giving. And unbelievably, beautiful. ”

Before I leave you, here are some lovely newborn photos of our first few months with our Theo. ❤️

Mama’s first glass of wine.

Postpartum realness

Lavender rice bag ❤️